I am told time and again that I am wasting time and money making clothing when I ‘can buy it at deep discount at Wal-Mart, Target, Kohls, H&M’ etc. I am not going to get into an ‘ethical clothing’ discussion here. Your Aunty is going to stick to bottom line issues, which deal with ‘true cost’ of an item – what it costs from the time you acquire it until you pitch it into the rag bag, the bag for the charity, give it away, etc. Studies have shown that most clothing purchased from deep discount retailers (much of which has a high petroleum content) are actually worn very little and then thrown away. In the UK, which has a well developed ‘charity shop’ retail sector, this sort of clothing can never be resold and ends up in bales going to Third World Countries. In the US, a lot of it ends up in landfills. So, if we go to a deep discounter and buy a dress or a pair of pants for $30.00 (and let’s not get into the whole “I saw jeans at WalMart for $15.00 thing, ok? This is by way of illustration) and wear it twice, whereupon it falls apart in the washer or dryer, then the per wearing cost of that item was $15.00 a time.

So, let’s say you avoid shopping at the ‘naughty retailers’ and always try to get quality. There are plenty of places to buy clothing, but one of the almost universal problems that people have, unless they are of a certain shape and size, in terms of buying clothing is finding clothing that fits. When clothing does not fit well, people do not wear it often and it oftentimes ends up at the back of the closet or off to the Salvation Army. Again, another high cost per wearing.

We won’t get into the issue of ‘fashion’ or even ‘likeability’ – just ‘do the buttons gap in the front’ or ‘can I raise my arms over my head’ or ‘is it too tight when I sit down?” I do not care what size or shape anyone is – for all the petite, missy, plus, women’s whatever out there in retail-land, finding things that a) you want to wear, b) that actually fit and c)that you can afford is almost an impossibility. For those of us, ahem, of a certain age, the memory of clothing available in sizes such as: Child, Pre-Teen, Teen, Junior, Junior-Petite, Petite, Missy, Women’s, Half-sizes, and Plus sizes is but one indicator of what has happened in manufactured clothing. Child, Pre-Teen, Teen, Juniors and Junior Petites have been amalgamated into Child and Junior. Either you are 8 years old, or you are Britney Spears. Either you are 15 years old…or you are ready for the boneyard. And the loss of fitting opportunities has gone along with that because people change dramatically between the ages of 15, 20, 30, 40 and so on. So, finding things in styles that you want, that will fit you, and at a price point that you can afford is the Holy Grail of clothing. No matter how little or how much you are willing to spend or can afford to spend, the vast majority of us are faced with stuff that is not going to fit, which produces a situation which most of us are very familiar with: people who wear clothing to fit their largest measurement and then it is either too long in length, the shoulders are falling off, the sleeves are too long and so on. People are not looking or feeling their best in retail clothing. The answer to this many times is to have alterations done. If you have THAT set of skills, then you are home free. If you do not, the cost of them for most of us can be equal or more than sewing the item from scratch ourselves.

So, what can we do? That couple at the beginning had a goal of a sweater. The goal in clothing(besides coverage, warmth, protection from the elements, etc. – for the moment, we will not discuss ‘fashion’ or ‘managing perceptions through clothing’) is to be able to obtain clothing people are going to like and that they will actually wear – a lot. When you are able to do that, then you will not only save money up front but also all the way along the lifetime of the garment as it gets worn over and over again. It is a commitment and investment of time to do so but the alternative is a waste of money and time. Aunt Toby is going into this (and I am biased – I admit it) with the philosophy that the US retail clothing sector has nothing to offer those of us who are not built like the companies’ fit models and I also resent things falling apart in the washing machine. Being able to build fit and quality into a garment from the ground up, to me is an answer that works. It might not work for everyone, but I do think it works. So, what are the key areas to being able to do this?

1) What do you know how to do already? Producing clothing that looks good AND fits well takes two different sets of skills: fitting and sewing. There are millions of unfinished and finished but unworn items in bags on the floor at the back of closets all across America because the item did not fit or the item did not fit comfortably. Being able to fit a pattern to yourself or a family member is crucial to being able to turn out clothing that looks good and feels good. This goes double if you have kids that are entering their teen years and you want to sew for them or teach them how to sew. So, if you know how to put clothing together from your home ec class or 4H in high school but are not sure about fitting, then you need to buy a book, find a class, etc. As far as Aunt Toby is concerned, anything else you do in the technical sewing area is totally wasted if you do not know how to fit because all your work will end up wadded up in a bag at the bottom of a drawer or the back of the closet. Especially when you are sewing for or with teenagers (who have all sorts of body consciousness issues) you need to be able do this or guide them to do it themselves. If all you are able to do ultimately is produce a prom gown that your daughter loves, you will have saved a boatload of money. I devoted a lot of time and effort learning fit so that I could do this for my two daughters and probably over the six or eight formals I made for them, I saved several thousand dollars and the girls had gowns that passed the ‘twirl in front of the mirror and with smile on the face’ test.
2) What sorts of clothing are you interested in making? If you are the sort of person who needs more formal business clothing, it is definitely worth the trouble to take a couple of tailoring classes so that you can get jackets looking correctly. A skirt or pair of slacks does not require nearly the amount of fitting or technical expertise that a jacket does. If you can learn to make a solid tailored jacket with chest pieces, shoulder pads, under collars, bound buttonholes etc., then you will be able to make coats as well. These items are a major expense when bought ‘off the peg’ – it’s worthwhile learning how to do this. Some people feel that learning to make really expensive clothing items such as this is the only reason to learn how to sew.
3) Alterations? What if what you want to do is just to alter ready-to-wear? Doing alterations well is an entirely separate set of skills because what the sewer is doing is basically taking the clothing apart in the areas that need altering and grading in the alterations. Learning what to do and why and for what reasons (sloping shoulders, large bust on a narrow chest, large rearend, and so on) is an almost completely separate set of skills and experience. Most alterations folks come to it from a tailoring background anyway, so I’d recommend taking classes.

So, here is your homework: Think about the issue of clothing for you and your family. What are your needs now and for the next five years. Would being able to fit, sew, or alter clothing that your family will wear a lot be something that you’d be interested in doing? Would you like to gain a skill that you can share with your children? Let’s not get into the details now of “I don’t have” or “how do we do..” Just think about it as an family expense issue.

(Dressmaker’s form photo courtesy of misswired)

As many of you know who read my other diaries, I am someone who believes in the power of language. I believe that words and their meanings have almost a magical quality to change our thinking. Think about the phrase “Homeland Security” – think about what THAT’s done to us.

Aunt Toby is here to announce the opening salvo (remember that detergent?) in my war against any of the words starting with the letters: S-A-V. That word and all of its daughter and sons (saved, saving, savings) have basically lost complete meaning. And here is my reason why: People think that “saving money” (that is, paying less for something you are going to buy anyway, or buying something based on the discounted price) is SAVING MONEY.

What you really DID was “NOT SPEND MONEY” or, perhaps more clearly, “NOT SPEND AS MUCH MONEY.” You did not actually SAVE MONEY. That is: YOU DID NOT TAKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE SPENT HAD YOU NOT GOTTEN THE DISCOUNT, AND PUT THAT MONEY IN A BANK ACCOUNT OR A JAR OR AN ENVELOPE UNDER YOUR MATTRESS OR BURIED IN A COFFEE CAN IN THE BACK YARD. In many cases, people are actually encouraged to BUY MORE and SPEND MORE when they are in that situation (the “buy two; you’ll save twice as much” issue).

There is a huge difference between:
– “not spending as much money” on an item and taking the money you did not spend on X and then going out and spending it on Y, and
– “not spending as much money” on an item and then taking that money and “socking it away.”

So, I want us to NOW replace any words that start with the letters S-A-V and replace them with other words:

Socking it away…a little old fashioned, but comes from the period when people would put extra money into a sock in their dresser drawers to save it.
Accumulating
Amassing
Collecting
Hoarding…think of yourself as Smaug – it puts a friendlier face on this word
Putting Aside
Bank, banking
Salt Away
Conserving
Storing

See how this changes your thinking, because you can no longer say, “I saved $xxx on this”; you have to say, “I’m putting $xxx aside,” or “I’ve got $xxx that I’m socking away.” It’s an entirely different mode of thinking, created by using different words…words that have specific and actionable meanings.

Now, to putting words into action: Actually finding out the difference between what you would have paid and what the item/service/whatever is actually costing you and putting it into a “socked away,” “stored” or “banked” state:

First, make sure you have one of the following available to you: a separate bank/credit union account (if you have a credit union available to you, either on an employer or community basis, you ARE a member, right? If you are NOT, then DO NOT GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200 AND DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER WITH THIS ARTICLE UNTIL YOU GET YOURSELF REGISTERED WITH THEM. AUNT TOBY IS VERY FIRM ON THIS: CREDIT UNIONS ARE GOOD THINGS)

Example 1: Buying some THING (item of clothing, appliance, etc.)
1) Do your research – where can you get the best buy?
2) What is the highest price you find vs. the lowest price? Are you going to buy from the lowest price (if “service after the sale” is not an issue for you, then this is easy)?
3) NOW, DO THIS. DO NOT QUESTION IT OR THINK ABOUT IT…JUST DO IT. SUBTRACT THE LOWEST PRICE FROM THE HIGHEST PRICE…AND EITHER WRITE A CHECK AND DEPOSIT IT INTO THIS SEPARATE ACCOUNT OR, MORE EASILY, ELECTRONICALLY TRANSFER THAT AMOUNT INTO THIS SEPARATE ACCOUNT.

Example 2: Taking lunch from home vs. eating out
1) Do your research – how much money on a weekly basis are you spending on eating out? Check all your receipts over a month – you ARE keeping your receipts, right? We won’t consider how much going out to eat costs if you are charging these on credit cards. We’ll just take the strict meal/tip costs.
2) Divide that cost by however many days per month (we won’t get into the whole 30/31/28 thing) this is – if you only eat lunches out on weekdays, then it is 20; if we are talking all month, it’s 30 and then multiply by 5 or 7 (depending on whether you are looking at work-week eating out or everything)– voila – weekly cost.
3) Put that amount of money – real cash – into your wallet or purse in an envelope – to only be used to buy the separate ingredients you will need to make lunch. Now, if you are taking left overs from “big cooks” on the weekend, that is separate, but if, for example, you would be buying a salad every day then it looks something like this:

Salad’s out: $7.50/day x 5 days = $37.50
Now, my salads out have: mixed greens, 4 cherry tomatoes, a handful of nuts and about an ounce of cheese in them. To buy at the grocery store:
Mixed greens – 2 packages should do it = $5.00
Package of cherry tomatoes – 1 pint – has about 30 = $2.50
Cheddar cheese, 1 ounce, $3.00/pound, 5 days = $.94
Nuts, ¼ c. per salad, 5 days, $2.99/#, 4C. to a pound = $.93
Total Cost: $9.37 for the week for the salads; on a per salad basis, that is $1.87
4) So, $37.50 less $9.37 is $28.13. Take that money out of the envelope – don’t use it to buy anything else and put that money into your bank account, a big sock in your dresser drawer or whatever you want, but do not use it for another thing.
5) You might want to think about it in the same way with buying coffee/Danish/breakfast on your way to work or eating dinners out as well. But it all adds up to the same thing.

Example 3: Getting your spouse, BF, GF or SO to cut your hair.
1) We all start the same way: do your research. How much are you spending to get a hair cut now? $10? $20? $50?
2) If you offered money of any amount to your spouse, BF/GF/SO, they would probably be insulted – that does not mean you can’t do something nice for them, like bring them a cup of coffee in bed or buy them a cup of coffee later. Just figure that into the equation.
3) Take the difference between what you would have spent on the service and what it’s costing you. $20.00 minus $0 = $20.
4) Bank that – or, take them out for coffee – a nice cup of coffee locally (not Starbucks) is $1.50. If you want to go fancy, get a spritz of syrup and spend $1.75. Then, bank the difference – really do that. If you get a hair cut once a month, then you are going to accumulate a lot of money. Even if the difference is only $8.00, that is $96 a year. If it’s $18, that is $216 a year.

You can actually accumulate money if you actually put it aside. Just getting discounts on things does not “save money,” nor does “failing to spend” if you are not putting it away. Savings is an ACT – you must actually DO IT and DO IT REGULARLY. Think of this as your Financial Wellness Program – all Wellness Programs only work if a) you actually DO THEM and b) you perform them on a regular basis.

(cross posted at Oxdown Gazette)

Now that the holidays are over, it’s even more tempting. I received one today with the headline: “The one you won’t want to miss: $5.99 and UP!!!”

That’s the sort of thing that, except for the fact that I have never been able to use my store credit card to shop ON their site, would have, in the past, had me with the plastic out, clicking off item after “bargain” item. But, I have taken an entirely different philosophy about my closet these days that I would like to share. I think it works for all genders and certainly makes ME feel that I’ve got one more thing under some modicum of control.

Read this whole thing and then do it, OK – Aunt Toby doesn’t want anyone to break a leg or a clavicle running up and down the stairs to do this.

This is an assignment, so go get your notebook and pen. Draw a line down the middle of a page. Go stand in front of the closet and imagine some particular event that happens to us all – sometimes several times – in a year. Pick events that frankly make you go crazy in terms of deciding what to wear. On the top of the left hand side of the page, write: Event. On the right hand side, write: Outfit. Under Event, write the first thing that comes to your mind. Here is an example:

Event
Funeral – Close Relative
Funeral – Not Related But Close
Job Interview
Wedding-winter
Wedding-summer

Stare into the closet and ask yourself the following question: What do I have there that is appropriate for the occasion?

While everyone does NOT have tickets to President and Mrs. Obama’s Inaugural Ball in a couple of weeks (if you do, Aunt Toby envies you, unless you don’t have an appropriate outfit – as you know, the Rules of Shopping say that when you need something wonderful to wear, all wonderful things disappear, POOF!), but everyone sooner or later has a funeral, a job interview or a wedding to go to as a guest.

Calling hours and funerals are usually events that are announced rather suddenly and leave us anxious in terms of dressing appropriately. Lacking time to do an adequate search and shop for appropriate attire only makes the occasion worse. A call to come in for a job interview can provide the same anxiety; usually you get a couple of days notice, but Aunt Toby once got a call first thing in the morning and was asked to show up before lunch! Weddings usually give the greatest notice but still are fraught with dressing problems.

Men are very lucky: All they need is a good dark suit (navy or medium grey will carry you through all seasons; navy and charcoal grey is great for the winter), a change of nice dress shirts, a couple of good ties, good dress shoes in black (not loafers) and dark blue or black socks. That outfit will carry them through everything on the list plus weekly attendance at your chosen house of worship. Men are very lucky.

For women, a nice blouse and medium colored or dark suit (not black or navy; looks too much like an airlines uniform) or dress (knee length, not too low in the neck, with some sort of sleeve; if you can get a matching jacket, do that) will get you through everything except for the summer wedding. A pretty tailored dress and hat will get women through that and there is the added usefulness of wearing it to work or church and shaming people who show up in blue jeans and tatty tee shirts with their coffee mugs on Sunday mornings.

Now, let’s think about that: For the guys, one outfit focused on a dark suit. For the ladies, one outfit for winter focused on a dark suit or dress and one outfit for summer focused on a tailored dress. All eventualities. All stressful times. All taken care of with one outfit – sort of like that “One Ring to Rule Them All,” right?

So, go back to the email adverts and the closet and ask yourself the important question: Do I or don’t I have that one outfit? Is there anything in those adverts that I am getting that is going to get me that outfit? What do I really NEED? Don’t be seduced by the photography or the pricing or perceived bargain-ness.

If they are showing the sort of clothing on your list, it’s time to think seriously about investing in that one outfit. If not, take the money that you would have spent doing the “click throughs” to the shopping cart and put that money away and SAVE IT.

Go visit places that have good solid clothing of this sort and watch sales (right now is a very good time – in colder areas, get all wool or nearly all wool for suits; if you live in warmer areas, look for tropical weight wools or fabrics with some wool in them – keeps wrinkles down – for suits; dressier fabrics that do no wrinkle or have to be dry cleaned for dresses). Men, if you can get an extra pair of pants with the suit, that is a great investment. If you need a pair of good black conservative pumps or tie dress shoes, the same goes for that.

As you visit, try on clothing and get comfortable with the process, put away more money. When you find the items you need, get them and put them in the closet. Think of this in the same way as buying staples for the kitchen shelf: They are there and ready for when you need them. That way, when you get the call for the job interview, or sadly, for a funeral, you can just reach in the closet, pull out your outfit and you are good to go.

You can get more wear out of the outfit and reduce your per-wearing cost by wearing your outfits to work or religious services or to go out to dinner. But you will have an outfit. You will not have to run around trying to find something appropriate to wear, having to pay more than you had planned on, or perhaps not finding anything that fits.

This way, when you see advertisements or things in stores or magazines, you can ask yourself, “What are my clothing needs for the next six months or a year? Is what I’m seeing something on ‘my list’? Or is it something that is appealing to the eye but has little wearing value in terms of what I need and will eventually end up in the bag for the charity or the landfill?”

NOT buying stuff we don’t need is another way to save money.

(cross posted at Oxdown Gazette)